transitions

sunrise: 7:13, back home again

Still catching my breath after breaking trail for half an hour in 15 inches of wet snow. The up side is that the dogs are worn out too, and quiet.

My last resident teenager was back to school this morning, pleasantly surprised to have human company before her departure. She occasionally happens to overlap with Dad on the way to work, but for some time I have opted out of the early morning routine. I figure she has to learn to get herself going pretty soon, she might as well start young while she has some backup.

I do commit to staying up late with my daughter (almost always), so she doesn't have to face the homework grind in a solitary midnight gloom . Even though there are moments when I think longingly of sleep, I feel fortunate that my company is welcome. After all the trepidation I felt about the dreaded "teen years," I found living with adolescents incredibly dynamic and exciting, and I'm truly going to miss it. There is a passion for life, exhilaration of discovery, intensity of grief that pervades the teen years. It is enormously invigorating to live with constant reminders of how dramatic and powerful it is, this experience called life.

It is especially poignant to me during this last round. As my youngest makes the transition into those lively years of hormonal ebb and flow, I am making my transition out of it. There is something peaceful about leaving it behind. It is nice not to feel quite so UNDONE by everything. But there is also a wistful sense of nostalgia for those depths of feeling. I can still find them, but it takes more of a conscious effort.

Also, I could do without that feeling that I'm being inexplicably microwaved several times a day.