The Year is Complete!

Please feel free to look back through the 365 days of 2010 sunrises, but "a year of getting up to meet the day" is officially completed. There will be no more new posts.


Thank you so much for visiting.
A one year blog project in which I share a process of transitions: emptying of the nest, reacquainting with my rusty intellect, plowing onward with my first full length book, entering the second half of my first century, and generally reflecting on life.

(see Dec. 29th, 2009 entry for further explanation)

Sunday, May 30, 2010

surround yourself with a white light - or - son under the moon

sunrise:  4:54

The other day I drove my son to Logan airport to catch a plane to Texas, then to Argentina.  Car rides are always a wonderful time to spend with people you care about.   Even with the intrusion of cell phones and ipods, it is still a contained space with limited distractions.  And even though S. slept for much of the way after a late night packing and early departure, it was still lovely to be with him.  I like to be his mom taking care of him while he sleeps, keeping him safe.

Keeping him safe is an illusion, of course.  Life with grown children means a constant letting go and just hoping and praying that they will be okay.  My sister, interfaith minister and family counselor, both deeply spiritual and highly practical, offered me a great tool for handling worry.  “Surround yourself with a white light.”

In idle moments I am a worrier.  Lying in bed, I sometimes worry about my physical state -- that weird feeling in my chest or my head.  Sometimes walking alone somewhere I get fearful of attacks in the dark from strange animals or strange people, or something completely indefinable.  When that happens I think of my sister's suggestion.  I conjure up an image of myself surrounded by a crystalline, white light, a glow of protection, an aura of confidence.  It is really just a tool of distraction, in a way, but my credulous side really believes that I can make a difference in my vulnerability, somehow, through that positive visualization.  Whatever the reason, it helps.

On a lighter note – I tried positive visualization on the tennis court last week when my partner and I were losing by a lot.  I saw our winning score in my head and focused hard on it.  And we won!  With that score!

But, anyway – back to the white light…

I use the white light tool on other people that I fear for as well.  If someone is very ill I do a kind of meditation, focus on them in their sick bed, with a white light of peace, comfort, healing all around them.  Or when one of my children is on the road to somewhere, I close my eyes and create a white light around the car speeding through the night. 

So when my precious son flew to Argentina under a full moon on Friday night, I hardly had to visualize much.  I pictured his airplane flying through the clear sky, bathed in the light of the moon. 

He is there now, safe and sound.  I guess it worked.

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